Different Thoughts

 This past week was hard for me. When you have great speakers and they are only around for one week to teach you, they bring a lot to the table all at once. I just want to encourage you that if you are at a place where you think that you know God then you need to re-evaluate because there is so much more of Him that He wants to give us. Keeping seeking after Him, never believe that you have reached your full potential with God - He can always rock your world with a new aspect of Him.  I felt a lot of relief from just junk in my life after this week. The topic was the father heart of God which was a hard topic for me anyways but it really changed me in a different way than I expected. Our speaker, Ross Latto, taught us about recognizing when the devil has planted a bad seed in your life and realizing that the devil can't grow that seed, you do. We meditated and prayed about a lot of seeds that had been planted in my life early on that I was continuing to grow. I was believing these lies about fears and rejections because they had been growing in my life for so long I didn't even think twice about them. You have to look at your life, pray for God to show you past experiences or situations that have sown seed of evil in your life. After you acknowledge them then you can up root them but once you uproot them then you have to replace them with a good seed otherwise the old seed will just sprout up again. (sorry for the plant analogy - it just works so stick with me ) Anyways I just love that my God loves me so much that he has show me these lies and freed me from them. He has helped me uproot them and replace them and is continuing to show me more and more about his loving, comforting, caring nature. I know this is a simple concept but it was one of the huge light bulbs for me this week. I really can't express the way I felt on friday during our intercession prayer time. I really felt closer to God than ever before. It was a two way street. He was speaking to me and I was responding and I felt what He felt and was loved and loved Him. 

One thing I did want to tell everyone about it something that we watched during our small group time. This was really powerful in my life because of my past but it is a series of scripture that have been put together to make a letter to God's children from God expressing how much He loves us. If you have never seen or listened to this I encourage you to look it up on youtube - it is called father's love letter. For me, it has always been hard to believe that God could love me as much as this letter expresses. This is the way that God sees us as His children. This was a powerful word for me and opened me up to letting God love me. 

It has been a mad house around here the past two days that is why my blog is late. The DTS before us got back from their outreach phase - which is their three months in different countries. So we have an extra 20 people on base. There used to be 3 girls in my room now there are 13! It has been a shock and fun and crazy and trying all at once. They are getting us so excited about outreach from their stories! So that is my excuse. =) 

I am sorry but I keep thinking of things I want to tell everybody! So this blog is still going. I am just really excited about our class. God has just been speaking words over our group about peace makers, being a family, and we have received the scripture Isiaih 61  a lot. Every time we turn around our speaker or somebody random is speaking that chapter over us! I am just getting really excited because even though we have only been in a group and know each other for 5 weeks we really are becoming a family. We are walking together in unity with God as a group and that is powerful! It is excited to see how God brings us together each week! He is faithful to His words over us. Last week we all sat around a banqueting table to tell each other about where we are with God and how we can lift everyone up so that we move forward in God as a family. It is awesome! okay so I am done now!! Miss everyone and LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

A word from the Outback,,,

 Hey all! 

Just wanted to drop a line and say hey before my next serious post!!! I am so stoked about being here still!! I just have to brag about the fact that I live a mile away from the beach and I get to go running there like everyday!! I am hopefully going to go surfing again this weekend! I was successful last time but just the last few runs and only for a few seconds so much more practice is needed!! It has been raining here for the past week and a half and we are all about to go insane!! We need sun!! The sun should be coming out tomorrow so fingers crossed!! =) How is the cold weather!!! haha I love you guys!! Well not much to say about life. I get up at 6 yes 6 o clock everyday to shower and get ready for the day. Most days are filled with lectures, prayer, praise and worship, and then afternoon chores! Then beach of course when its not raining that is. I have seen tons of spiders! They are big brown hairy and so gross!! We are preparing for the last class to get back from outreach so that means that instead of 3 girls in my room there are going to be 14!!!!!! This is going to be crazy!!! Pray for us!!!! =) It is going to be so much fun! okay well I guess I have rambled enough! Love you all! Miss you! 

A new look

 

 Hey All! Well I have to say that I don't think many of you are praying about my spider situation because since my last blog I have seen like 10! A couple of them huntsman spiders! Yuck!  =) I really can't complain because life is good! I am transforming my life and my relationship with God, I live a mile or so from two beaches, and I am living with amazing people!! Here are some pics up top... beach, fun and girls I live with! 

 This week we are learning about the nature and character of God. This seems like such a easy topic because you think you know a lot about God. YOU DON'T !! Well I don't. This week is completely based around the question Who are you God? I want to tell the story of Moses in the way that our speaker Adriel Booker told it because it completely changed my view of Moses. A common story, one that if you have been to Sunday school you would know right. Well it starts by Moses being born and immediately his mom has to get rid of him because the Pharaoh has made a law that stated that every first born has to die. So Moses gets put in a basket and picked up by Pharaoh's daughter and she says he is a gift from the gods. So then Moses's sister who was following Moses tells the Pharaoh's daughter hey you should let someone nurse him and I know a woman so Pharaoh's daughter agrees so then Moses goes back to his mom to be nursed then when he is old enough he goes back to Pharaoh's palace. So Moses has just been passed around like 4 times in his early childhood between two totally different cultures. Do you think he was a little confused about his identity? He looks Hebrew and he is growing up in a Egyptian palace. So 40 yrs go by. 40 yrs that's a long time. When Moses was 40 he saw an Egyptian mistreating a Hebrew and he killed the Egyptian. I know y'all know the story,  he feels  he doesn't fit in either culture and he could possible fear getting in trouble for killing this man. He goes to the desert, marries and starts a new life. Creates this entirely new identity for himself. He is a shepard. He does this for 40 yrs. Okay so by this time he is probably happy - it doesn't say that in the bible but it doesn't say that he was unhappy and he had a wife, son, and career I think he was probably happy. It has been 80 yrs. that is a stinking long time. So he is older and has created this new identity after all the struggles in Egypt about who his true identity really was. So one day he is doing his shepard thing and he sees this bush that is on fire but it doesn't burn so he says literally ch. 3:3 Moses's thought, "I will go over and see this strange sight - why the bush does not burn up." How hilarious is that answer? I would be like freaking out and Moses is just like huh that bush doesn't burn maybe I should go check that out. Anyways so they go through the whole you are on holy ground take off your sandals and within 3 verses God reveals who he is(God that is), who moses's true identity is, and what moses's calling is for his life. Okay so think about this for a minute. You have gone through 80 yrs of your life not knowing this God, you don't really know where you came from and you didn't know you had a calling.  (Ch. 3:6-8.) So God calls out to Moses's and says I am God, the God of your fathers Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and I want you to free my people out of Egypt. So God spills out this statement I am your God, you are Hebrew because I am the God of your fathers so go free the Hebrews, and then gives him directions on how to do this task. This amazes me. three verses boom - we are talking a few minutes and Moses's has all the answers to his questions how overwhelmed would you be? So after this Moses is a little hesitant can't say I blame the guy and then he totally agrees to this plan and goes for it. WOW. We are talking faith!! 80 yrs old  and he starts his walk with God. From that he frees the Egyptians and lives a life being one of the guys ( I think) that had one of the closest connections with God. When he died he was called a friend of God. I want that. I want to have such close, deep intimate relationship with God that when I die they won't name off my accomplishments or focus on anything other than she really was a friend of God. So how do you do that? Friendship is built on trust and trust on knowing the other person involved in the relationship. So that is my call and my question that  I have decided to ask myself for the rest of this DTS and probably life is who are you God. I believe the more I know about Him the more I will start to understand who I am and the calling He has for my life. 

This post was kind of long... if you endured it, I hope you got something out of it! Miss everyone and love you all!!

 

Intimacy with God

I have realized this week that I have not been able to be intimate with God because I have kept my relationship with God on a superficial level. Most relationships if you think about it are kept on a superficial level. How do you go deeper with God? This was the question that was placed in front of me this week. Jesus is the light. If I want to be deeper in a relationship with Him that is going to mean me letting more of His light in my light. The flesh is drawn to the dark, it is human desire and if I want be closer to God I have to let the light shine in my life. I realized that because of my shame and fear of being rejected I would leave out parts of my life in my own personal journal. So the only person that reads this journal is me. It was started because I wanted to have somewhere to express my thoughts about what God was teaching me and to write letters to God then I would leave parts out like I thought he didn't know what I was thinking!! I was living in the dark and was shutting the door to letting Jesus come into area's of my life because I didn't want them to be exposed in the light. I know this seems like a easy concept but one day I sat and I wrote everything that I had left out of my journal for the past 6 years. It was a lot and was so freeing. I felt like I knew God more and was comfortable with Him. This is not a process that was easy or that is over. I have a lot of things I have to deal with and try and resolve with myself and God, and myself and others. This was the beginning step in my intimacy growing with God. He wants us to trust Him with every part of us.

A good quote by the speaker this week, matt dawson, was intimacy is cultivated in tough times and enjoyed in good times.

It is simple really. Jesus calls us to follow Him. If we are following Him, even if He asks us to do something that may be uncomfortable, or cost us something in the end He will turn it around to bless us. Do you realize that God loves you more than yourself? Think about that. Think about how much we focus and love ourselves and then try and wrap your mind around the concept that God loves you more than that! Amazing. Another way to become intimate with God is completely understanding your value in His eyes. This is a huge concept and a struggle for me but through reading His words in the Bible about how valuable I am and the more that I expose and trust Him the more I hear His loving words of affirmation in my life. I want this to be the point that everyone takes away - God loves you more than you love yourself. Learn who you are and how valuable you are in the eyes of God. Dive into a deeper relationship with Jesus - start by taking your trash to Him. Trust Him. He will love to release you and free you from the shame and will pick the weight off your shoulders. Then he will love you and you will be in an even deeper relationship with Him! Every day this is becoming a reality in my life and I am so excited about it. I have much more to tell about this week's lesson but my brain is on overload! Will write again soon! Love everybody! Be blessed!