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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

A new season

Ever had God tell you to do something so far out of your comfort zone that your not even sure where to start? I feel a bit like that these days. I was home just a few weeks ago and spent some time alone, all alone, for a few days and just was still before the Lord. That is a good thing, mixed with the emotions of scariness because God speaks and in this time spoke something new and asked me to do it.

One of my biggest questions for God throughout my time on the mission field has been, God why does this stuff happen. Especially during the time I spent serving as a midwife in certain countries and the death was just unreal, I would often wrestle with where are you God. Nobody knows this is happening, nobody knows this baby was born on the floor or that one alone in the crib. God gave me such a strong word during that time about how He sees. He took me to Genesis 16 and the story of Hagar. She was Sarai's maidservant and when Sarai couldn't conceive, then she gave Hagar to Abram to build a family through their marriage. After Hagar fell pregnant than Sarai began to mistreat her and Hagar ran away. As she was running she was met by an angel of the Lord who said to her "go back and submit to Sarai." and then he made her a promise. Her reply was, "I have now seen the one that sees me."

God spoke so clearly to me after I read that.  He sees the babies born, the ones that aren't, the ones that live short lives and the ones that go on to live long lives in horrible conditions. He sees women, men, countries, and situations. He reminded me that He sees them and He is using me to be witness to their lives as well. To add, contribute, and bring God's kingdom to them. He wants to use many more of us.

So from all that God spoke during my quiet time to start a non profit organization. It is called "I am seen." It will be used to bring awareness of the ones that aren't seen, to incorporate photography and music to raise money to support those that go and serve the ones that aren't seen, and to bring God's kingdom.

If you are trying to start something like this on your own with no business experience what-so-ever, it seems oh so frightening. Luckily God already told me I would need to seek help. I have started by building my board of directors. I shared my vision with my sister in law and asked her to join in. She immediately started crying because God had spoken the same vision to her earlier this year! I love the way the Lord works. So the two of us have our work cut out for us.

I am also working in new areas on base. New ministries that stretch me in new ways. Free time to build relationship with the people on base (which also stretches me major!) I guess I am just taking it one day at a time. I read this verse the other day that was so exciting to me. In 1 Corinthians 10:31 "so whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

You are blessed to be a blessing.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Time at home...

Well, I am about finished with my time at home. Hard to believe that 5 weeks passes by that fast. I have been able to see almost every one I hoped to see. I was able to take a few days to really have "holiday" and went to San Antonio with my mom for a few days. It was so much fun. We tried to float the river in New Braunfels and got half way down the river and it started pouring rain! Texas has been in a heat wave with no rain for months and months and the only day we go to float we get big lighting, rain storm! We ended up literally swimming the last half mile of the float because I was afraid we were going to get struck by lighting! Ha.

I was able to spend a week in San Angelo. It is so good to be back there. I saw lots of people and was able to spend lots of time with people from the church. I have been so overwhelmed by the blessings that come out of the church. Any one need a church, go to Paul Ann. I kept trying to bless them but every time I turned around I felt more blessed than they did I think.

It is always kind of sad gearing up to leave, because there never is a return date in mind. I hope a year  from now, but it is really up to Jesus. He did a pretty good job of planning out and giving me this trip, so I definitely trust Him! I was thinking about last year being home and how different that time was. I came off of a really intense 18 month spout overseas and was ready to be home to "relax". Last summer was one of the hardest summers and I felt more attacked spiritually than I did on the mission field. I realized looking back how much I had to clinge to Jesus to make it through that summer, and without the attacks my mindset was to "take a break" from ultimately Jesus and His work. God taught me and was showing me, you can't take a break from me. That isn't how this relationship works. I have been so thankful looking back, and thinking about that time. Although it was super hard and I didn't understand it, I know now that I learned one thing (among many that summer) that I never want to think I can "take a break" or "relax" from my relationship with Jesus.

My older bother is graduating this weekend with his masters in music education! He is such a stud! So we are planning, cooking, and cleaning to get all ready to go. I should also be packing but uhhh haven't started that yet! =) I look forward to a blow out party weekend with the family, a few days to pack(?) and then a long plane ride back to Perth!

You are blessed to be a blessing.