Stillness...

Well... I gotta a little bit figured out on this new remodel of the blog. It is a work in progress still.
 I am still on the run. I have been hanging out in San Angelo now for a few days. It has been very surreal to be back in my old stopping grounds. I didn't think about it being hard to come back here. But it has been a little bit more difficult than I anticipated. It has been great seeing friends and getting to see all the people that I love and have missed dearly. It has also been eye opening and humbling. I have become such a different person than I was when I first arrived in San Angelo. A lot of that changing happened while I still lived here and then even more over this past year and a half. A long process over many years. Being back has reminded me of a lot of things God healed me from, past hurts and past mistakes. But being back has in some ways reopened them. Not in a bad way, but in a way that is finalizing and is bringing a complete closer to who I was before Jesus, and who I am now. I often think about how many people I influenced in a negative way, or missed opportunity with. It is such an awesome testimony of what God can do. How He can take us from the pit of our desperation, slowly and gently into His glory and loving hand. So no matter how hard it is sometimes, or how uncomfortable some moments can be, I couldn't imagine not being here to show the glory of God. What He has done, where He has taken me and how much He loved me through all of it. The good the bad and the very ugly.
I have had to learn what quietness is like again. This strange and uncomfortable quietness  has become my friend lately. It is so good to sit in the quiet. Yesterday.. I was home all day long. It was raining and I didn't have any plans so I just did some work, some reading, ect. It was so nice but all day long it was quiet. I didn't turn on Itunes. No one called and ever time I would think oh I should call someone.. I didn't. God is teaching me again how to sit in the stillness with Him and it is great to get back to that place. Not that I didn't have a bit of quietness this past year, but it is definitely different having 30 min of quietness vs a whole day or several days in a row. I have enjoyed it in a stretching uncomfortable sort of way to get re aquatinted with Jesus in the stillness. haha.

Well above is a video that I made to recap the year.  I tried to show a glimpse of what God did. Hope you enjoy!

You are blessed to be a blessing!

Confused...

Sorry... trying to update my blog.. but finding it difficult to delete my old background... that is why it looks so funny. Hopefully I will figure it out soon!

Home

Here I am on Texas soil again! It is soo good to be home. I spent the last week in wollongong, the base where I did schooling at last January. It was the perfect place to begin my transition back to western society. It was calm, relaxing, and there were so many good people to talk too! I love the people at that base and I love them loving me, which is exactly what they did! My trip home has not been so peaceful. I am afraid my time clock is already all messed up. I didn’t sleep on any of my flight, which was killer on the 14 hour one. Then I ended up sleeping in the floor of the airport but then people kept waking me up because they thought I was missing my flight.. (they didn’t know I had a seven hour layover) It was hard not to be some what grumpy at the nice people. =)

Looking back I realized that I have gotten on a plane to travel every two weeks for the past 2 months and will continue until the end of June. That means I have been on 12 flights over the past two months... I am sick of flying!!! I used to think it was so much fun... The airport business, the people, seeing new things in new airports.. Yes this sounds pathetic but I used to enjoy it... I still do but with a little dread and a sign. Here I go again. Haha..

Well it was so exciting to fly into america. Even more to fly into Texas. I had some funny thoughts as I got off the plane and walked through the airport so I will share them with you to end this blog. I am Home and will post my cell phone number soon (as soon as I get it)! E-mail me because if you are close to me, I want to see you!!!

Funny thoughts as I entered back into Texas:

• The first things out of my mouth as I got off the plane was Yeehaw! (yes I was as surprised as you are)
• I got excited when I saw bass pro shop in the airport (theres your sign...)
• I got excited to have mcdonalds for breakie because I got to have FREE KETCHUP (not tomato sauce)
• I ate the naste hashbrown from mcdonalds just as a means to get the KETCHUP in my mouth =)
• I might have become slightly prouder as I got off the plane.... I will pray into this later.
• Two words - Dr. Pepper
• Ya’ll is back and in full force
• I passed multiple shops displaying the phrases “Don’t mess with Texas” and I know some people’s personal favorites “Everything is bigger in Texas”

I’m excited to be home!!!

You are blessed to be a blessing.

Reflecting...

I have to talk tomorrow about what God has done in me in this past year. Wow what a big topic. We left central Asia and have now made it back to Perth. We (my school and I) have been and are spending this last week talking through the miracles, healing, and things that stood out to us this past year. Also talking about what God did in and through us. It is amazing thinking back. It is also very hard. Hard to get my mind around the fact that it has been 11 months. Hard to remember because my mind doesn’t think back that far, and hard to process this past month especially. I have never experienced a time where all our plans change, suddenly and without warning. It leaves a person wondering, did God really speak for us to come here? Did we hear right?

My answer for that question for me in the midst of last month was yes, I heard from God. No I don’t know why we had to change our plans, but I know that for whatever reason, the week that I was placed in that area of the world God was brought to that place. Even if only for one week. Christ in me; praying, standing, and loving people around me Jesus was brought to that community. I don’t have many stories about anything really physical or tangible happening. I don’t even have any good reports from the country I left. It is almost like it is doing worse off.... Huh. The enemy attacks heavy on a front they are afraid of losing?

I believe even more in the power of prayer. I have seen prayer do crazy things this past month...like.. starting cars, changing attitudes, and shaking things that need to be shaken. I think God in these past few months has shown me once again how much He loves me. He has healed me in many areas, taught me that it is okay to be wrong and faulty. That is one of the best ways to learn and to not be prideful. He has taught me patience, kindness (something still needing to grow in), and how to love even when you don’t want to love (also still growing). I have learned to value relationships and learned that I can take time to grown them. I have learned to seek after Jesus, to learn His true character. To confront Him with my questions, my ideas, my misconceptions. He always contradicts them, gently. I have learned that His heart is big and that He is someone I haven’t scratch the surface of getting to know. He never left me, even when I was tired and didn’t want to take the time to seek after Him. He still brought me peace even when I didn’t deserve it and He still let me experience life even after I cause so much death.

He is my creator, lover, and friend. I have a lot to be thankful for. All of it because of the life that Jesus gave me. He truly saves me everyday.

You are blessed to be a blessing.

A long time coming...

Has it really been a month since I have wrote any new blogs? Sorry, everyone. I am afraid that writing anything has been daunting in these last couple of weeks. I am beginning to believe that God has brought me into the desert. I have felt that way for weeks now. The other day, my friend, Cara, was reading out the scripture that has been our theme verse for this school. It is Isaiah 40:3-5. We (my team and I) have been through some very interesting and tough couple of weeks. She was reading this to emphasize something that I had never caught onto before. The verse reads “A voice of one calling; In the desert prepare the way of the Lord, make straight in the wilderness a highway for our God....” She pointed out that the voice that called, was in the desert. In the desert prepare the way.... The voice either called you into the desert or maybe you just stumbled in and then the voice spoke but either way you are in the desert. A dry, dirt, uncomfortable place that you are thirsty, weak, and crying out for help. That is where the Lord speaks about preparing the way. I guess a lot of this feeling that I have is from being gone from home for so long. Being apart of this calling that God has placed on my life has led me into a year and a half of amazing adventures with God. I wouldn’t take it back and actually have a hard time believing that God allowed me to be apart of it all. I just feel the tiredness of it, I feel the longing to be back home, to be in comfort and normal conditions. This past week I felt the weakness of my flesh start to crumble. The thing that I have really been excited about it is this verse. The fact that the voice spoke in the desert and if you keep reading the great things that come out of being there and doing what the voice says to do...”And the glory of the Lord will be revealed and all man kind will see it.”

I am very excited to be taken into God’s energy, and joy during this desert season. You have to ask for it usually on a day to day basis or sometimes an hour by hour basis but He is really shown me His faithfulness to provide me with what I need at that moment. Even writing this blog I feel more encouraged by the amazing work that God is still doing even in the midst of me feeling so tired, weak, and thirsty.

Well I feel like this isn’t a super encouraging blog, but God is still good, even in the midst of the desert. My team and I are having many doors open up to see and understand how the health care works in this country. We came into central asia to scout out and pioneer to see the opportunity to bring teams back for longer trips and to also see how we could be used.... Where is the need that we are equipped to fill. It has been surprising in our sudden shift of placement. We left the original place that we came to work in, so it has been great to see God pick us back up and move in this place we are in now. Almost like we were suppose to be working here this whole time. God is opening up doors like crazy to provide us plenty to do, plenty of people to meet, and really dive into being apart of this community. Only with God’s favor can we see things change from one day to the next.

I promise I will get back on my writing and not leave my blog unattended again for another month. I have missed posting.

Just so you know 28 days until I am back in the USA and at home! Pretty exciting... A few more days after that and my brother gets married! Oh my goodness this will be a fun summer!

You are blessed to be a blessing!

Pictures...

Okay I have been very bad about putting up pictures! Here is a few...

Train Rides

Well I feel like I have so much to write about. This past week has been a journey!

We started out, myself and three other members of my team, on a very long train ride to northern India. We had such an experience on our first train ride. It was a 2nd class seating with no AC (air conditioning). Despite the hot atmosphere, it was eye opening to what so many experience as life every day in India. The train was grey, with metal bars making up the beds and seats, and steel fans at the top of the car. The view from my bed (which was one of the higher beds) when looking down the car made me feel like I was in prison. That is where I sat for 29 hours. No windows from my seat. Just a over look into many people’s lives. The sections of seats were meant to only seat 6 people. Many had double that. At every station we stopped more beggars, cross dressers and people selling things would jumped on the train to work there way through the cars. It was a never ending reminder of the desperation people have for hope, healing, and love. God used the separation of our team for His glory. One of the girls was placed in a car that was 7 cars down from the rest of us. All of us worried about her, she stayed in our seats until the beds where put down and then she had to go find her own seat so she could sleep that night. The next morning my friend, Emily, and I went to find her. She had a some what okay night, not being bothered to much, but that morning before she returned to the car the rest of us where seated she was able to tell some of the men sitting next to her about Jesus. One man decided that he wanted to know Jesus and she lead him through prayer to be saved!! Praise the Lord! In all things the Lord is good...

Once we finished our 29 hours, we jumped off to head to another train ride. This one only 12 hours long and we were able to get tickets for an AC car. We all trudged forward, still a little bewildered by our last experience, we stepped into a different world. The cars that had AC were like coming back into what we consider normal life. Quiet, calm, educated, well dressed people. Beds and seats where they provided you with blankets, pillows for your sleeping. It was like walking into a different world. You could really get on that train and never realize the people at the other end and the situation that they live in. You could pretend to some degree that people don’t beg, that there aren’t hurt men that dress like women, or that some families only have enough food to share one plate.

I am thankful for our long train ride. The view from both ends and the work that God did along the way. I often wonder what bringing the kingdom of God looks like from the perspective of whatever country I am in. So here in those situations where was the kingdom of God? Where could I have brought more of it? It is here, I believe that more than ever that we are called to bring the kingdom of God to earth as it is in heaven, right now. So whether at the poor or the rich end of that train ride, the kingdom was there and was needed is more quantity. I know more love could have been expelled from myself on that trip. Fear can often hold me back, and this is something I am learning to let go of more and trust more in Jesus. There was such joy in one family on the first train. They were two families I think, two young women with kids and some men, husbands and brothers I imagine. The time they spent together, feeding there kids, talking, and playing games with each other was so fun to watch. It was the peace amongst the chaos for me. So that was my kingdom to watch. Relationships and joy come from that family. I think it is important to think about what does that mean to you, to bring the kingdom of God. What is the kingdom of God? What does it consist of? If you don’t have an Biblical idea of what the kingdom that Jesus so often talked about looks like, then how do we live in a kingdom manner?

These questions are always floating in my mind so I thought I would let them float in your too...

Well we made it to our destination. We have started our health care seminars with 15 participates! It is already spirit led and doing great things! I will write more later..

You are blessed to be a blessing,